Temper, Temper!!
by John Vinopal
Recently, I rekindled my love of live theater and was fortunate to be cast in a local production of Good People, where I played a doctor threatened by a former girlfriend in a question of paternal responsibility. I will spare you the full story, but suffice it to say, it didn’t end well. At the dramatic conclusion, my character lost his cool, blew his top, popped his cork...well, you get the idea.
After the curtain fell, my wife and kids and a few friends waited in the lobby to congratulate me on a successful performance. My friends commented on how out of character it was to see their mild-mannered friend in the throws of a full-blown temper tantrum. Unfortunately, my wife and kids thought that was the least impressive part of my performance. Sadly, they have seen similar performances on numerous occasions in real life. It is with great regret and embarrassment that I admit to being a bit of a hot head.
For the most part, I have learned to control my fits of rage when in the company of “normal people”, but with family and close friends, my filters are diminished, opening the doors for my personal Mr. Hyde to make an entrance. There is nothing to fear since I learned long ago that if I took my anger out on anything breakable, it broke. I’ve spent a few bucks replacing tennis rackets and golf clubs, but I swear, I was provoked in those instances! I’ve also learned the art of spackle-patching after a wall or two took a punch during one of my forgettable moments. The walls didn’t lose every battle, though, as my crooked knuckles will attest.
Thankfully, age and prescribed Xanax have helped to keep Mr. Hyde at bay most of the time, but old habits are hard to break. Let’s face it— that is, all temper tantrums are habitual reactions to negative stimuli. My habit started at a very young age, and although I have no recollection of those formative years, the consensus from those who do is pretty consistent: I was a huge brat. If I didn’t get my way, everyone around me suffered, and I’m embarrassed to admit that the brat in me bubbles to the surface even today, making bad situations significantly worse.
You’ve no doubt heard the advice to not sweat the small stuff. I not only sweat it, I flop sweat it! It is ALL about the small stuff! A missed volley, a bad drive, a broken appliance, a traffic jam, a purchase with some assembly required: all fertile ground for a blowup. All little things that I have absolutely no control to change. All things that I can calmly handle when they happen to other people, offering encouragement, assistance, and best wishes. But when they happen to me...LOOK OUT!!
I know I shouldn’t let these things bother me. I know I should count my blessings when faced with occasional annoyances. I know I look ridiculous when I lose control of my emotions. I also know that my tantrum will be instantly intensified by reminding me of what I know. Ask my wife. It is like putting gasoline on the fire. When I snap, it is best to treat me like an epileptic in the throws of a seizure. Best to stand aside and let the seizure run its course, keeping all breakable items out of harms way.
Well, I hope that you don’t think any less of me now that you know my dirty secret. It is a part of my personality that I would gladly change if I could. Although my embarrassing lapses of control happen less and less frequently, I realize Mr. Hyde can show up for any reason at any time, and for that, I apologize in advance to those who have to suffer along with me. For those of you who are lucky enough to have never seen my darker side, I assure you, it is not me, but a remarkable theatrical performance! Boy, if only that were true…
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Can not be reproduced or used without written permission All rights reserved, copyright, 2015
by John Vinopal
Recently, I rekindled my love of live theater and was fortunate to be cast in a local production of Good People, where I played a doctor threatened by a former girlfriend in a question of paternal responsibility. I will spare you the full story, but suffice it to say, it didn’t end well. At the dramatic conclusion, my character lost his cool, blew his top, popped his cork...well, you get the idea.
After the curtain fell, my wife and kids and a few friends waited in the lobby to congratulate me on a successful performance. My friends commented on how out of character it was to see their mild-mannered friend in the throws of a full-blown temper tantrum. Unfortunately, my wife and kids thought that was the least impressive part of my performance. Sadly, they have seen similar performances on numerous occasions in real life. It is with great regret and embarrassment that I admit to being a bit of a hot head.
For the most part, I have learned to control my fits of rage when in the company of “normal people”, but with family and close friends, my filters are diminished, opening the doors for my personal Mr. Hyde to make an entrance. There is nothing to fear since I learned long ago that if I took my anger out on anything breakable, it broke. I’ve spent a few bucks replacing tennis rackets and golf clubs, but I swear, I was provoked in those instances! I’ve also learned the art of spackle-patching after a wall or two took a punch during one of my forgettable moments. The walls didn’t lose every battle, though, as my crooked knuckles will attest.
Thankfully, age and prescribed Xanax have helped to keep Mr. Hyde at bay most of the time, but old habits are hard to break. Let’s face it— that is, all temper tantrums are habitual reactions to negative stimuli. My habit started at a very young age, and although I have no recollection of those formative years, the consensus from those who do is pretty consistent: I was a huge brat. If I didn’t get my way, everyone around me suffered, and I’m embarrassed to admit that the brat in me bubbles to the surface even today, making bad situations significantly worse.
You’ve no doubt heard the advice to not sweat the small stuff. I not only sweat it, I flop sweat it! It is ALL about the small stuff! A missed volley, a bad drive, a broken appliance, a traffic jam, a purchase with some assembly required: all fertile ground for a blowup. All little things that I have absolutely no control to change. All things that I can calmly handle when they happen to other people, offering encouragement, assistance, and best wishes. But when they happen to me...LOOK OUT!!
I know I shouldn’t let these things bother me. I know I should count my blessings when faced with occasional annoyances. I know I look ridiculous when I lose control of my emotions. I also know that my tantrum will be instantly intensified by reminding me of what I know. Ask my wife. It is like putting gasoline on the fire. When I snap, it is best to treat me like an epileptic in the throws of a seizure. Best to stand aside and let the seizure run its course, keeping all breakable items out of harms way.
Well, I hope that you don’t think any less of me now that you know my dirty secret. It is a part of my personality that I would gladly change if I could. Although my embarrassing lapses of control happen less and less frequently, I realize Mr. Hyde can show up for any reason at any time, and for that, I apologize in advance to those who have to suffer along with me. For those of you who are lucky enough to have never seen my darker side, I assure you, it is not me, but a remarkable theatrical performance! Boy, if only that were true…
Back to John's Page
Can not be reproduced or used without written permission All rights reserved, copyright, 2015