Who’s in Charge Here?
Our pets must think we’re idiots, or at the very least, extremely gullible and easy to manipulate. Puppy eyes can melt even the most macho man’s heart, and the motor-like purr of a kitten will make anyone want to get cuddly. We’ve domesticated our furry, feathered, and fishy friends for millennia. Or have they domesticated us?
The vast majority of pets have it fairly well off. Most of their daily schedule consists of sleeping, eating, and finding another place to sleep. I’m not just talking about cats and mutts here, either. Our birds, fish, lizards, horses, tarantulas, and other non-human family members have the good life, too. And they know it.
Why else would they put up with the ridiculous “conversations” we think we’re having with them? They listen to us blabber on and on about everything from the insanity at work, to that referee’s stupid call that absolutely cost our favorite team the game, to freaking out over the ash borer invasion. They couldn’t care less, but politely try to appear interested, hanging around, and even nodding occasionally. The only words they’re interested in hearing are “go outside”, “food,” and “treat.” The rest of our inane chatter just flows over them like water on a turtle.
I bet what really annoys them is when strangers visit and get introduced. That’s when humans put on the silly voice and run all the words together: “Heylooookatthebigguywhatasweeeetiearen’tyouagoodboy!” The animal is thinking: “Okay, here’s another biped trying to suck up to me. You’re not fooling me, fella. I know you don’t have any food.”
Food. Now that’s where our pets really have us doing their bidding. Not only are we shoveling out cash to keep them well fed, they’ve got us scooping up after them as well. Can one be treated more royally?
We adapt our lifestyles and living arrangements around our pets. We ask others to respect them, whether it’s not knocking on the aquarium, or obeying the “Beware of Dog” sign. The first time I visited with one of my friends, she greeted me at the door with two rubber bands. She explained that I needed to put a rubber band around each ankle, so her pet ferrets didn’t run up my pant legs. I’ve never stretched elastic quicker.
Many pets have their own Facebook page. The animals are oblivious of course, but may sense how much we love to take pictures and videos of them to share with the world. Sometimes people can get carried away with their pet relationships. Many of us tend to push our pets into doing things they wouldn’t normally do, like clothing them. They already come equipped with their own outerwear, and our silly attempts to add fashion layers must aggravate them. A top hat on a toucan, and a beanie on a beagle? We think: “Cute!” They think:“Really??” We can’t detect it, but they’re probably rolling their eyes every time we approach them with any kind of tailored fabric.
In the big picture though, these are relatively minor liberties we take with our pets. There has to bea special place in Hell for humans who knowingly mistreat animals, but I digress. On to a higher plane, which is where our pets bring us…
Lifting up our spirits day and night. Being there. Listening. Loving us unconditionally. That’s why we’ll do just about anything for them. Give them incredibly expensive health care? Absolutely. Provide food and shelter? You bet. Give hours of time, patience, and occasional heartbreak? Sure. Our pets; our pals. Part of our families; part of ourselves. Who cares who’s in charge? It appears that everybody is happy. Now excuse me, but Storm wants me to rub his belly.
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Can not be reproduced or used without written permission Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved.
Our pets must think we’re idiots, or at the very least, extremely gullible and easy to manipulate. Puppy eyes can melt even the most macho man’s heart, and the motor-like purr of a kitten will make anyone want to get cuddly. We’ve domesticated our furry, feathered, and fishy friends for millennia. Or have they domesticated us?
The vast majority of pets have it fairly well off. Most of their daily schedule consists of sleeping, eating, and finding another place to sleep. I’m not just talking about cats and mutts here, either. Our birds, fish, lizards, horses, tarantulas, and other non-human family members have the good life, too. And they know it.
Why else would they put up with the ridiculous “conversations” we think we’re having with them? They listen to us blabber on and on about everything from the insanity at work, to that referee’s stupid call that absolutely cost our favorite team the game, to freaking out over the ash borer invasion. They couldn’t care less, but politely try to appear interested, hanging around, and even nodding occasionally. The only words they’re interested in hearing are “go outside”, “food,” and “treat.” The rest of our inane chatter just flows over them like water on a turtle.
I bet what really annoys them is when strangers visit and get introduced. That’s when humans put on the silly voice and run all the words together: “Heylooookatthebigguywhatasweeeetiearen’tyouagoodboy!” The animal is thinking: “Okay, here’s another biped trying to suck up to me. You’re not fooling me, fella. I know you don’t have any food.”
Food. Now that’s where our pets really have us doing their bidding. Not only are we shoveling out cash to keep them well fed, they’ve got us scooping up after them as well. Can one be treated more royally?
We adapt our lifestyles and living arrangements around our pets. We ask others to respect them, whether it’s not knocking on the aquarium, or obeying the “Beware of Dog” sign. The first time I visited with one of my friends, she greeted me at the door with two rubber bands. She explained that I needed to put a rubber band around each ankle, so her pet ferrets didn’t run up my pant legs. I’ve never stretched elastic quicker.
Many pets have their own Facebook page. The animals are oblivious of course, but may sense how much we love to take pictures and videos of them to share with the world. Sometimes people can get carried away with their pet relationships. Many of us tend to push our pets into doing things they wouldn’t normally do, like clothing them. They already come equipped with their own outerwear, and our silly attempts to add fashion layers must aggravate them. A top hat on a toucan, and a beanie on a beagle? We think: “Cute!” They think:“Really??” We can’t detect it, but they’re probably rolling their eyes every time we approach them with any kind of tailored fabric.
In the big picture though, these are relatively minor liberties we take with our pets. There has to bea special place in Hell for humans who knowingly mistreat animals, but I digress. On to a higher plane, which is where our pets bring us…
Lifting up our spirits day and night. Being there. Listening. Loving us unconditionally. That’s why we’ll do just about anything for them. Give them incredibly expensive health care? Absolutely. Provide food and shelter? You bet. Give hours of time, patience, and occasional heartbreak? Sure. Our pets; our pals. Part of our families; part of ourselves. Who cares who’s in charge? It appears that everybody is happy. Now excuse me, but Storm wants me to rub his belly.
Back to Larry's Page
Can not be reproduced or used without written permission Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved.